NEWSFLASH!!!! I went on a date last night! :) It went very well, in fact. So to all those out there that think feminists are too psycho to date...YOUR WRONG! :cP
Ironically, he works for an organization in Chicago that I interviewed with before I graduated (they actually offered me a job, but couldn't guarantee my placement in Chicago, so I turned it down). The weird thing about this situation is...well...he lives in Chicago. I met him at a Career Fair that I was attending for work when I was traveling in Illinois and we struck up a conversation because he was recruiting for the organization that offered me a position several months ago. His family apparently is from the surrounding-DC area and he was out here for Thanksgiving stuff so he called to go out with me.
The night went very well. We went to a great little tiny bar in Dupont that has 1,000's of different types of beer. So we drank a bit, and ate dinner and talked A LOT! I think it was getting to the point that the waitress was getting antsy for us to start leaving since we were taking up one of her tables and not ordering anything else.
After over 2 hours of conversation, we finally asked for the bill...
I got out my wallet to help pay expecting him to say 'no, no, put your money away, I'm paying'...but that didn't happen. Now, I know that I probably shouldn't have expected for him to pay, but he didn't even offer. I'm not sure if he didn't offer because he just didn't think about it, or if he didn't offer because he saw me getting my wallet out already, or if he thought I'd somehow not "let" him because I'm a feminist.
Granted, I don't ever want to be in a relationship where he feels obligated to pay for everything. I have money of my own that I can spend. However, it's kind of a nice treat every now and again for someone to pay for your meal. It kind of threw me for a loop. I'm used to thinking I'll pay and then persisting at least once when he offers, and then letting him pay. But I'm also not sure how that sits with my feminist ideals. If I can pay, then shouldn't I?
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Dealing...
Hey y'all. Before you all start yelling at me, I PREFACED this blog with the notion that I have a hard time keeping these things going. ESPECIALLY if I'm trying to save the world! :)
Anyway...time for the updates:
After I got back from Rhode Island, the planning for my conference in New Orleans kicked into high gear and we only hit a few speed bumps. One of them being that our local contact that was supposed to be finding speakers and local-y stuff to do bailed! So...my organization picked up the pieces and we put together a very successful conference with just about 100 attendees! I couldn't have asked for a better outcome (especially since this conference was more or less thrown into my lap by retreating ex-employees).
So...the NOLA conference was a success! Whoot!
And now it's time for some minor bad news.
Upon acceptance of this position it seemed like the perfect transition for me. I was at the end of my college career with this student organization that was affiliated with my current organization and I was having a really hard time "letting go" of the organization and finding another way to fulfill my activism requirement that I know I need. So...jumping onto the non-profit bandwagon and letting the student group serve as a starting point, the next logical step was the get involved with the organization that made my student organization possible. So I did. And I love this job. But...it leaves something to be wanted. I love that I'm working with all these fantastically influential women that are so passionate about the same things as I am. However, I terribly miss the witnessing of local change and education. Through my position, I do a lot of "keeping track of activism" as opposed to participating in actual activism.
As with any big transition in someone's life, I'm beginning to learn a lot more about myself and the things that are important to me. So...here's a small list of things I'm learning from this job and major move:
1. Local change is more important to me than national change - One of the things I think I enjoyed so much working on a college campus as opposed to a well-known national organization is that I could SEE the change happening. I had the ground connections with the PEOPLE and the issues. Here in Washington, there isn't really a sense of community change or community input because the "community" here is the whole fucking nation. I really struggle with the "broad" perspective of some of the issues I'm working on. I want to be able to see that what I'm doing makes a difference to a specific group of people. With what I do now, that group is all women every where. Kind of hard to get a grip on.
2. Things are more glamorous from the outside - From a student's perspective, this organization seems so on top of it and so plugged in, but the longer I'm here I'm finding that isn't always the case. There's a lot of bitching happening about what is wrong and what needs to be done, but no action behind it.
3. Working with a group of people that think like you is HUGE! - I've had my share of friends and family that I need to just keep my mouth shut because I know that we differ on opinions and values. I'm learning that this is definitely something that I can't just "deal with." Being around people that I can about these things with is EXTREMELY important to me since these things are such a huge part of my life. No...actually they're not a part of my life...THEY ARE MY LIFE. I live and work with such fabulous "lefty" people and I'm realizing that this is HUGELY important to me and makes my life a whole hell of a lot easier. If I'm fighting for equality 9-5, I don't want to have to fight for it when I go home or hang out with friends!
To wrap up a bit. In theory, I love this job. Daily I struggle with it because it's not what I want to be doing in the long run. Guess it's time to collect business cards and keep networking! More lessons learned coming soon!
Anyway...time for the updates:
After I got back from Rhode Island, the planning for my conference in New Orleans kicked into high gear and we only hit a few speed bumps. One of them being that our local contact that was supposed to be finding speakers and local-y stuff to do bailed! So...my organization picked up the pieces and we put together a very successful conference with just about 100 attendees! I couldn't have asked for a better outcome (especially since this conference was more or less thrown into my lap by retreating ex-employees).
So...the NOLA conference was a success! Whoot!
And now it's time for some minor bad news.
Upon acceptance of this position it seemed like the perfect transition for me. I was at the end of my college career with this student organization that was affiliated with my current organization and I was having a really hard time "letting go" of the organization and finding another way to fulfill my activism requirement that I know I need. So...jumping onto the non-profit bandwagon and letting the student group serve as a starting point, the next logical step was the get involved with the organization that made my student organization possible. So I did. And I love this job. But...it leaves something to be wanted. I love that I'm working with all these fantastically influential women that are so passionate about the same things as I am. However, I terribly miss the witnessing of local change and education. Through my position, I do a lot of "keeping track of activism" as opposed to participating in actual activism.
As with any big transition in someone's life, I'm beginning to learn a lot more about myself and the things that are important to me. So...here's a small list of things I'm learning from this job and major move:
1. Local change is more important to me than national change - One of the things I think I enjoyed so much working on a college campus as opposed to a well-known national organization is that I could SEE the change happening. I had the ground connections with the PEOPLE and the issues. Here in Washington, there isn't really a sense of community change or community input because the "community" here is the whole fucking nation. I really struggle with the "broad" perspective of some of the issues I'm working on. I want to be able to see that what I'm doing makes a difference to a specific group of people. With what I do now, that group is all women every where. Kind of hard to get a grip on.
2. Things are more glamorous from the outside - From a student's perspective, this organization seems so on top of it and so plugged in, but the longer I'm here I'm finding that isn't always the case. There's a lot of bitching happening about what is wrong and what needs to be done, but no action behind it.
3. Working with a group of people that think like you is HUGE! - I've had my share of friends and family that I need to just keep my mouth shut because I know that we differ on opinions and values. I'm learning that this is definitely something that I can't just "deal with." Being around people that I can about these things with is EXTREMELY important to me since these things are such a huge part of my life. No...actually they're not a part of my life...THEY ARE MY LIFE. I live and work with such fabulous "lefty" people and I'm realizing that this is HUGELY important to me and makes my life a whole hell of a lot easier. If I'm fighting for equality 9-5, I don't want to have to fight for it when I go home or hang out with friends!
To wrap up a bit. In theory, I love this job. Daily I struggle with it because it's not what I want to be doing in the long run. Guess it's time to collect business cards and keep networking! More lessons learned coming soon!
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