To Pay or Not to Pay

NEWSFLASH!!!! I went on a date last night! :) It went very well, in fact. So to all those out there that think feminists are too psycho to date...YOUR WRONG! :cP

Ironically, he works for an organization in Chicago that I interviewed with before I graduated (they actually offered me a job, but couldn't guarantee my placement in Chicago, so I turned it down). The weird thing about this situation is...well...he lives in Chicago. I met him at a Career Fair that I was attending for work when I was traveling in Illinois and we struck up a conversation because he was recruiting for the organization that offered me a position several months ago. His family apparently is from the surrounding-DC area and he was out here for Thanksgiving stuff so he called to go out with me.

The night went very well. We went to a great little tiny bar in Dupont that has 1,000's of different types of beer. So we drank a bit, and ate dinner and talked A LOT! I think it was getting to the point that the waitress was getting antsy for us to start leaving since we were taking up one of her tables and not ordering anything else.

After over 2 hours of conversation, we finally asked for the bill...

I got out my wallet to help pay expecting him to say 'no, no, put your money away, I'm paying'...but that didn't happen. Now, I know that I probably shouldn't have expected for him to pay, but he didn't even offer. I'm not sure if he didn't offer because he just didn't think about it, or if he didn't offer because he saw me getting my wallet out already, or if he thought I'd somehow not "let" him because I'm a feminist.

Granted, I don't ever want to be in a relationship where he feels obligated to pay for everything. I have money of my own that I can spend. However, it's kind of a nice treat every now and again for someone to pay for your meal. It kind of threw me for a loop. I'm used to thinking I'll pay and then persisting at least once when he offers, and then letting him pay. But I'm also not sure how that sits with my feminist ideals. If I can pay, then shouldn't I?